electronic chaos takes hold

I am powering through chemo despite electronic failures all around me... everything from my camera, to my iphone, to my back up cell phone, is either in a repair shop or not working. there must be some meaning to this...maybe the chemo is focusing on more than just me. .If that is the case its very effective.

I had a great Thanksgiving with Julia's parents. A 23lb turkey for 5 people. Need I say more. I rallied out to watch the CU Buffaloes loose once again on Friday to Nebraska but it was 65 degrees out...

What is usually a less than great day ( Saturday ) I rallied myself to the apple store, the bank, the book store and a talk and book signing by Amy Goodman from Democracy Now. It was great. finished the night with a little sake and sushi.

So YES...I am getting my head around this ride and feel really strong. I am determined to defy the cumulative effect of chemo. Even my hair is attempting to grow back (with a loose definition of attempting and growing) still looks real goofy.

Without photos this gets a bit dry.. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and that the Holidays before us shine bright in your homes. I feel the love so just keep it coming.

loads of Love to all of you

susanna

A YEAR OLDER/ A YEAR WISER!

wow! A great week to have a break from chemo and I did my best to take full advantage of it.

Since I know a dangerous number of scorpios there is no shortage of folks to celebrate with. My dear friend Cheri started it off at the beginning of the week with Sushi to die for and copious amounts of Saki.

Meg Hansson, who some of you know, shares my birthday so we had a lovely dinner with her, her son (who went to CRMS with me ions ago) and Dana celebrated over Mexican food. I was back to drinking water at this point.

Matt and Dana reserved Monday night and together cooked an amazing meal Matt cooks Kenan style..heavy on the butter, garlic, and creme but fresh scallops and shrimp and salmon served over pasta...Not to be up stage, Dana did an amazing salad and broccoli dish.

And then there was my actual birthday where two dear old friends that I never see enough of took me to dinner at the MED. Just as we were finishing up..from behind me came a loud chorus of" happy birthday" led by Dana and all her good buddies from high school and college. They had the entire restaurant applauding. And a candle to blow out, and poof, they all vanished into the night out the front door. It was so sweet and such a surprise.

Apologies for the blurry shots, I am having some technical difficulties with my camera settings. I promise to have that fixed soon (thank god for all of Dana's techie friends).

And yes it is Thursday and I charged through chemo yesterday with a big chaser of a lot of sleep. So I am charged up and ready to hit the office.

Thanks for all the birthday messages and calls. You are all my source of fuel and optimism. All the news thus far is good news so keep on doing whatever it is you are doing.

loads of love

Susanna

PHOTOS

Matt and Mom
Susanna and Dana make cookies with "green Butter" eater BEWARE!
Scrumptious Gourmet Dinner ala Matt and Dana

Danger, Danger! eating fashionably late!

SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WE WILL FIGHT, FIGHT, fight, fight , fight...

To all my fellow CU fans....Yes the Buffalos won today and I had stunning tickets to watch it, thanks to brother Kenan (Dr. Mango). It was a glorious sunny November day and it sure beat the way I spent last Saturday. So maybe the mind can out do the body...I had my mind set on feeling good enough to go to the game and it worked.

Now I am home and feel whoooped! No celebrating for me tonight.

I am making good progress re-defining my belief system that got pretty shattered the past 3 months. No details to share but progress.

This is my week off chemo

lets all raise a glass and celebrate the 10 days to come and November skies.

Lots of love

TUESDAYS, A DAY I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON!

It feels so good to wake up and feel so good. I had a god awful week-end. Lets just say it was very horizontal, for all the wrong reasons, and I became one with the bed. Or as Bob Dylan said "when you ain't got nothing you got nothin to loose".

So moving right along, on a brighter note, the snow is melted, the skies are blue, I just had a delicious yoghurt and toast breakfast, a hot cup of tea, a hot shower, and I am ready to take on the office. I think there a 7 boys working in the office this week. Never a dull moment.

There was a "shave your head" movement in empathy of me. Most of the guys wanted to wait to Halloween to make the most of it. Here is the winning look....A white, skinny, version of Mr. T.

Snow mixed with Great News

What a difference a day makes.....24 inches and it is still coming down. Just as there are no snow day s for chemo nor are there ones for the mortgage loan processor. Getting ready to get our form under the five comforters and head into town. But Wait....... I had great news yesterday from my doctor regarding my blood work. and with out going into great detail my tumor markers showed an incredible response to the treatment. Its not often you see these docs actually get excited. They will redo the PT scan in December after 6 or so more treatments and that should be very revealing. But, all in all, its looking good.

Kenan suggested i be a cancer cell for Halloween and I am trying to visualize just how that looks. Any other ideas. It seems i am pretty scary just as is so I just may stick to me and call it Schenade Oconnor or better yet how about Fester from the Adams Family..thats kind of timely is it not.

Off to attack the snow and all that comes with it...adventure in the high rockies!

love to yu all

Crossroads- Where Ecuador meets Italy meets Cancer.

The blurr is gone for now. Feeling a little clearer. Another week has come and gone. I always think its Friday on Tuesday cause I feel so good, and have Weds off of work and just want to go out and have fun before facing tomorrow. It is snowing, just as the weatherman said it would. We might get 7 inches or more. no snow days at the chemo lab. Time to hunker down under a down comforter. What should I be for Halloween?

THE MORNING AFTER

the blur is kinda of how I feel. A little sea sick. But...that said I finished week #5 (but whose counting)

My liver was not responding quite the way the American Cancer Society(the sponsor of the study I WAS in) so I had to drop out of the study. Not that big a deal, especially since it was a double blind test so you don't know if you are getting the real thing or the placebo nor does the Dr.

At any rate the chemo and basic protocal remains the same. And there is nothing alarming about my liver blood counts just they have very rigid requirements and I am a Block so who would expect a perfect liver count. So much for offering myself to medicine.

Got a full day of work in. Katie Bachman and Preston surprised me at work with a hot cup of Camomille Tea and a scone which did wonders for my tummy. Katie is leaving next week to go to Ecuador to travel with Dana and escort her home November 8th. Bet you can't tell I am excited to have her back after 13 months in South America.

I am hanging tight. Getting more comfortable in my own skin and lack of hair. Its getting to be fun. Sleeping well. Eating ok. Taking my vitamins and supplements. Life is good.

TUESDAY NIGHT WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT?

GETTING READY TO CALL IT A NIGHT knowing that I have to be there at 7:50 am to get the show on the road. Tomorrow is the beginning of round two so its a big day that starts with drawing blood, peeing in a cup, getting weighed, checking my blood to see that my liver returned to a non-drinking level, a visit with the Doctor which is always fun and interesting. A chance to ask those questions that come up in your dreams, when you are walking, or watching TV. And then its time to get comfortable on the deck of the cruise ship for 5 hours of chemo. The good thing about starting early is you get the leather recliner with a view (even though tomorrow is suppose to be a grey, cold, snowy day.

Dana bean and I typically have a skype date on chemo days around noon so we do the video thing. She gets to see Boulder and I get to see Ecuador. It puts it all in a very interesting, worldly perspective and makes the time fly...

I arrived at work monday with a rhasta dreadlock hat on but the boys would not be fooled and insisted on seeing the skin and get a rub in for good luck. Its become a bit of a ritual around the office. For those of you who know me I am not good at keeping a hat or scarf on all day. Julia has gotten me some killer earrings to break up the monotony.

So no need to worry from lack of postings. Sorry I scared a few of you with that break the other week. No great photos today but I will work on that. Thanks for all the comments...I mean that. Every chuckle and smile goes along ways these days.

You are all in my thoughts as well

Keep the candles burning

loads of love

Sus

HAIR HAD TO GO

I found the strength to fire up y car, get out of work friday early to go spend the weekend with my cousin from St, Louis who has a mountain house up by Beaver creek. She was in town with her daughter, a friend and her daughter. 4 gals..how could I go wrong. I my own out of town I took an impulsive detour to dela with the hair...on my pillow, in my food, in the drain, I had all I could take. $15.oo and a quick stop at cost cutters. Done! As I went to pay for it a young girl in front of me said " Good Luck" and as i made my way to the register they told me she had paid for my haircut. Pretty touching. I figured a week-end in the mountains with 4 girls would be a good time to digest it all and I was right about that. I don't know why shaving your head or loosing your hair is so hard. But it just might be one of the hardest parts of the entire ordeal. Even having done it before. I guess were all pretty vain and our hair is a big part of that vanity. so. go ahead and scroll down and see the full monty.

I could not get this image to rotate.

very frustrating. Use your imagination.

Aspen trees...

It was a great week-end, great weather, fun gals. The youngsters challenged to three games of ping pong. You will be glad to know I beat em all three.

Here I am. Hiking the tall peaks and

trails of Beaver creek. Yes I did put sunscreen on my ears. Yes it is a little on the cold side. I have a hat in my back pocket, I was just trying to get some vitamin E and give it a little color. Now I know how those buddhist monks must feel.

And guess who just sent me an e-mail about borsolino berets from Italy...none other than Daniel the prince.

Round one (4 weeks) behind me. 5 more rounds to go(20 weeks) but whose counting. I love you all

I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS/NASEAU CONTROL 101

So I have been so bad about posting. Remember "no news is good news". This was actually my week off so I go in but only get a quick infusion of a drug not considered chemo. Last week they skipped one of the Chemos (Taxol) because my liver count was too high. It hadn't occured to me to not drink any alcohol during this stint. Needless to say, chemo and alcohol are not a good mix on the liver. My blood counts came racing down this week and by next week I should be good to go. I spend a good deal of time tired but I am hanging in there. I miss that 5th gear but am sure it will be back soon enough. We have had all kinds of weather...freezing snow, fog, and today sunshine.

the library is all but closed down with everything sold (almost)

My hair is thinning....I am trying my best to postpone the reality of scarfs, etc...but postpone is the operative word here.

Morgan my cat continues to keep both eyes on me. Julia is learning more about cancer than she ever signed up for but thats what good friends are all about.

Keep all those good thoughts coming and the candles burning

love to you all

sus