EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!

I CAN SEE THE FINISH LINE!AM HOPEFULL TO FILL THE LAST WEEKS OF THIS WITH PICTURES. I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS JUST NEED TO GET TO IT. SO IN SO MANY WORKD JSUT KNOW I AM SWELL. READY TO CHANGE MY STATE OF MIND TO LIFE AFTER CHEMO....LOTS OF PLANS...GATHERING THE ENERGY..OVERLOOKING THE NAUSEAU AND YAWNS. BRING IT ON LIFE.

FIVE TO GO AND COUNTING

Today was the beginning of my fifth of Six sessions. Each session has three chemo treatments and one week off with just the drug Herceptin. I have completed Four full sessions. I have two more chemos this session and then I begin the 6th and final round. which will be three chemos and one Herceptin and should end on Feb 24th.

Since I last wrote....this little fungus has been making home in my mouth...called Thrush or Candida. no fun, little sores that gravitate to your tongue, lips inside, throat sometimes, need I say more. Typical Western doctors prescribe a benadryl mouth wash, and then a 7 day oral antibiotic, and the sores just sit there. So I go up to the house of a friend that Julia is house sitting for and there on the coffee table is a 5 page article on candida from the naturopath perspective. What a thoughtful thing to print out. ( It turns out it was there by chance and had nothing to do with me) But not knowing that, and totally frustrated I hit the local Vitamin Cottage. $80.00 later and a bag of bottles labeled Olive leaf, Fungal Defense, oil of Oregano, grapefruit seed extract, I was on my way to a healed mouth that could eat and drink and even taste a little bit. When I shared this with my Dr. he wrote it off to the time frame and said it would have healed either way. You gotta love these Western Docs. for their stubborn mindset. God forbid there be any real value in alternative medicine...it's like Disneyland to them. But I will say they are dam good at what they do. Do Not Draw Outside the Lines- kind of philosophy.

So that said...last week I saw a Nurse Practiconer who was young and very thorough. She got me all freaked out by a piece of the written report from my PT scan regarding a lump in my neck that had not previously shown. My Doctor had made no mention of this three weeks ago. So I've been on pins and needles for today's appointment to get the skinny on my neck. GOOD NEWS..and this is where the experience of an Oncologist with 30 years of work plays in, it was irrelevant to my treatment or protocol and there is no need to be concerned. He is 100% certain the treatment is working aggressively doing what it is suppose to do. He then elaborated on radiology and where all these disciplines do and do not work together in the patients best interest. It was a fascinating conversation and put me at ease. By the way those white blood cells- my count today was 6,000. Now that's a ton of white blood cells.

From there I made my way to the leather recliner which all but has my name on it on Weds. Got my cancer infested (not so true now) body comfortable while they hooked me up for my 3 hour infusion. Made it through a very brief visit with a few nurses, other chemo patients, and Julia's devoted parents who visit EVERY Weds, before I fell fast to sleep.

I am home and cozy now, slept off the afternoon. A friend dropped by some Thai cabbage chicken salad and I am ready to venture back upstairs and call it a night (after another cup of tea and a hot epson salt bath)

Have to share my fortune from my fortune cookie:

"You area deep thinker with a knack for problem solving"

Imagine that. And for you lotto players, gamblers, and number readers, my lucky numbers are

05 14 23 35 41 9

Everybody say a prayer for Haiti. It makes it dam hard to complain about anything, and I mean anything...

Sweet Dreams to all of you and thanks for all the support!!!

BACK TO WORK

After 5 days of bone pain I think it may have left the body, at least I hope...I am out the door off to work. A less than memorable holiday but the good news is that was then and now is now!!! My week off of chemo. YEA! I have a Drs. appt. Thursday to check the white blood count. Hopefully they have been reproducing like bunny rabbits.

Its a lovely bright sunny day in Boulder! I got my shades and ready to bring on 2010.

Matt and Dana are in route to Israel for a month long adventure.

I have been watching the Ken Burns National Park Documentary and it truly is amazing.

A little reminder of so much out there to be thankful for.

Its all about perspective

Wide angle lenses

love

susanna

Calling All White Blood Cells

Weds Chemo got a little complicated since my white blood cell count dropped to 1,000. A little low for chemo docs comfort. I pleaded with them not to skip a treatment, cause that would prolong the finish line. They negotiated with me and agreed to let me have my chemo if I would come in every day for the next five days and get a shot that would increase my white cell production. So I agreed to that.

As I was leaving treatment I found out there were issue with my health insurance going into a new year...so they suggested I get the supper dooper dose of just one shot which is the equivalant of five and just tough it up. Being the poster child I am I agreed. SO...I just got the shot. I didn't feel anything. Side effects are bone pain and ache and I have a good supply of pain killers to get me through the week-end.

No big plans for New Years Eve this year. It's a Blue Moon tonight (which means a white moon only two full moons in one month) how cool is that. Just a little trivia from your mountain woman.

I just made a killer pot of miso soup. My kids are in Denver to bring in the new year and Then both fly to Israel for a one month adventure on Sunday.

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY FRIENDS...EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU...LOADS OF LOVE

Susanna

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Sorry to be so lame in updating this but its hard not to dwell on the best of times and forget that I am fighting a fight and not just living the dream! I swear most of the time I would forget I had cancer if I didn't look in the mirror or if Julia wasn't following me around with the camera. Julia does remind me from time to time that its my attitude that prevails since she does have to deal with the side effects on a day to day basis, be it chemo brain or just downright denial and stubornness. But the truth is in the hair. Its a little bit like a chia pet.

It has been a great holiday. No shortage of eggnog, whiskey, good friends, wild turkeys, snow, and miracles.

We are getting to count down range .....7 more chemo treatments...Feb. 24th !!! I don't even have to take my shoes off to track that.

I love you all...carry on! Party like Rock Stars into 2010..

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!

Sorry to keep you all in suspense but with out a camera it was hard to come up with any note worthy news. The last 10 days were primarily tests, ranging from an MRI of the Brain to PT-CT scan of the body and a echo-EKG checking the heart. The Biggest best news is that 98% of all the 8 hot spots are GONE---in remission. The only sign of cancer is a slight stress mark on my left hip. It is hardly visible. The heart is fine as is the brain.

I DO STILL HAVE to finish all the chemo treatments through Feb. They will repeat the scan one more time at the end of treatment. But for now I could not be happier and there could not have been better news today. All your good thoughts, prayers and candles played a big role in this outcome, I just know. Wishing you all the best of Holidays in whatever you believe.

I am thankful for all your thoughts and promise you none of them are wasted. I may get my camera back next week and promise to get some snaps to brighten up this blog.

love

sus

MY BODY DOSEN'T KNOW!!!!!

I think my body has forgotten or is unaware that I was diagnosed with cancer! Sounds like me being crazy right? Let me just run down what I did this past week, aside from working every day. My night life so to speak.

Tuesday- cocktails and dinner with a dear old pal from the DA's office

Weds- Dinner in Denver and YO-YO MA with the Colorado Symphony Orchestra with my dear friend Jan Jackson ( a late birthday celebration). nothing short of AMAZING!!

Thursday- Bruce Hornsby and the Noise Makers at the Boulder Theatre with dinner before with old friends.

Friday- pick up Kenan at the airport and dinner out with Dana and Uncle Kenan on Pearl Street.

Saturday- Jan Jackson's Christmas party.

Sunday- Dinner with the kids and Uncle Kenan at home....

And I feel great!!! The ominous cough is GONE!!! Clean the ducts in your house!

Work is good, low interest rates continue to fuel a busy office. It's kind of fun to save people money this time of the year.

I am not sure what to make of all my energy but I embrace it and all my friends that I can celebrate with.

I love you all!

electronic chaos takes hold

I am powering through chemo despite electronic failures all around me... everything from my camera, to my iphone, to my back up cell phone, is either in a repair shop or not working. there must be some meaning to this...maybe the chemo is focusing on more than just me. .If that is the case its very effective.

I had a great Thanksgiving with Julia's parents. A 23lb turkey for 5 people. Need I say more. I rallied out to watch the CU Buffaloes loose once again on Friday to Nebraska but it was 65 degrees out...

What is usually a less than great day ( Saturday ) I rallied myself to the apple store, the bank, the book store and a talk and book signing by Amy Goodman from Democracy Now. It was great. finished the night with a little sake and sushi.

So YES...I am getting my head around this ride and feel really strong. I am determined to defy the cumulative effect of chemo. Even my hair is attempting to grow back (with a loose definition of attempting and growing) still looks real goofy.

Without photos this gets a bit dry.. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and that the Holidays before us shine bright in your homes. I feel the love so just keep it coming.

loads of Love to all of you

susanna

A YEAR OLDER/ A YEAR WISER!

wow! A great week to have a break from chemo and I did my best to take full advantage of it.

Since I know a dangerous number of scorpios there is no shortage of folks to celebrate with. My dear friend Cheri started it off at the beginning of the week with Sushi to die for and copious amounts of Saki.

Meg Hansson, who some of you know, shares my birthday so we had a lovely dinner with her, her son (who went to CRMS with me ions ago) and Dana celebrated over Mexican food. I was back to drinking water at this point.

Matt and Dana reserved Monday night and together cooked an amazing meal Matt cooks Kenan style..heavy on the butter, garlic, and creme but fresh scallops and shrimp and salmon served over pasta...Not to be up stage, Dana did an amazing salad and broccoli dish.

And then there was my actual birthday where two dear old friends that I never see enough of took me to dinner at the MED. Just as we were finishing up..from behind me came a loud chorus of" happy birthday" led by Dana and all her good buddies from high school and college. They had the entire restaurant applauding. And a candle to blow out, and poof, they all vanished into the night out the front door. It was so sweet and such a surprise.

Apologies for the blurry shots, I am having some technical difficulties with my camera settings. I promise to have that fixed soon (thank god for all of Dana's techie friends).

And yes it is Thursday and I charged through chemo yesterday with a big chaser of a lot of sleep. So I am charged up and ready to hit the office.

Thanks for all the birthday messages and calls. You are all my source of fuel and optimism. All the news thus far is good news so keep on doing whatever it is you are doing.

loads of love

Susanna

PHOTOS

Matt and Mom
Susanna and Dana make cookies with "green Butter" eater BEWARE!
Scrumptious Gourmet Dinner ala Matt and Dana

Danger, Danger! eating fashionably late!

SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WE WILL FIGHT, FIGHT, fight, fight , fight...

To all my fellow CU fans....Yes the Buffalos won today and I had stunning tickets to watch it, thanks to brother Kenan (Dr. Mango). It was a glorious sunny November day and it sure beat the way I spent last Saturday. So maybe the mind can out do the body...I had my mind set on feeling good enough to go to the game and it worked.

Now I am home and feel whoooped! No celebrating for me tonight.

I am making good progress re-defining my belief system that got pretty shattered the past 3 months. No details to share but progress.

This is my week off chemo

lets all raise a glass and celebrate the 10 days to come and November skies.

Lots of love